What I Know About The Atonement

If you see the date on my most recent post on this blog, you'll figure out that blogging is clearly not my forte. But once in a while I get the urge to post something here, like right now! A lot of things have happened between my last post and this new one. And I mean, A LOT.

Tonight for FHE (Family Home Evening), my "family" drove to Cocoa Bean for some AMAZING hot chocolate and then we drove up to a neighborhood and to a shopping center (Riverwoods) to see some lights. I'd say that it was a low-key activity, but I really enjoyed it. I felt that it gave us more opportunities to talk to each other, and if you know me well, you would know that I LOVE to talk.

On the way home, our FHE "dad" Moises asked us what we have accomplished this year. When it was my turn to talk, I did not have to think a lot about what I was going to say. I said that this year, I have grown to have a much better comprehension of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

When I compare what I knew about the Atonement to what I know now, I realize that I knew absolutely nothing about the Atonement. I used to think that I would never need it in my life. What an incredibly foolish thought! Years passed and I realized some things had to change in my life. Perhaps one of the hardest and most courageous things I have ever done is that I tried to make things right with my Father in Heaven. I can tell you that it is a long and difficult process. As I drew closer to Him, I realized that I was not doing this by myself. I came to know later that the power of the Atonement was what helped me make this much-needed reform in my life.

I cannot perfectly describe what it feels to have the Atonement on your side to help you, but I can tell you that it is very real and very powerful. When we were sent to this mortal existence, our Father knew very well that we will make mistakes. He knew that we will be not able to attain perfection by ourselves, and so He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to perform the Atonement, so that we would have a way to return to His presence.

The marks on the hands of Jesus Christ is a sure reminder of His Atonement. Photo courtesy of lds.org

As I studied the Atonement, I have come to realize that it is a lot more powerful and wider in scope than I have ever imagined. The Atonement allowed Jesus Christ to feel all the pains and sorrows of humankind, so that when we go through them ourselves, He will be right beside us, succoring us in our deepest trials. The Atonement is powerful enough that it rids us of the the guilt and the pain of our past sins. It also changes our very nature, so that the natural man that is inside each of us will never prevail. The Atonement gives us the power to keep pressing forward in righteousness so that we can stay on the straight and narrow path. The Atonement allows us to do the things that we otherwise could not do by ourselves.

The Atonement became more and more real to me as I personalized it to my life. I don't claim to have a perfect understanding of the Atonement, and I don't know that I ever will in this life. But I am absolutely sure of its reality. When things become uncertain or incomprehensible in my life, at least I will know that I can take comfort in the marvelous power of the Atonement.

One day, when I become a full-time missionary, I will gladly share that message of hope and love to those around me because of my understanding of the Atonement. Yes, one day, I will be a full-time missionary. You can consider this a little prize for reading all the way to the end of this post. When my original mission call to the California Oakland/San Francisco Mission got cancelled, I felt confused and a bit hopeless. I have moved on from it, but I still refrain from discussing that with many people. I'm sorry if I'm not too open about this, it's just a very personal thing to me. So if you're still reading, yes, I still have a desire to go on a mission. When things finally get straightened out, I will serve wherever the Lord would send me.I still could not forget that very clear voice in my head that told me to go on a mission. Even though it has been two years since I received that prompting, I'm still holding on to it and I will never let go until it is fulfilled.

Movin' on... (and obscure Tagalog words)

One of my favorite poems is Oliver Wendell Holmes' The Chambered Nautilus. Why? Because of its lesson of moving on like the chambered nautilus. A chambered nautilus builds chambers in its shells when it feels that it's too small for the shell. It seals up the previous chamber completely and moves on to the next one. I really liked this analogy, and at this point in my life, I need to learn from the chambered nautilus.

On a completely different note, I've been reading the Book of Mormon in Tagalog, my native language (Ang Aklat ni Mormon). An interesting thing about this version is that it uses a handful of VERY obscure Tagalog words I've never heard of before reading this. When I come across an obscure Tagalog word, I look it up on the ever reliable Google Translate and the highlight it. So far, here's the list that I have: (this won't really mean anything to non-speakers of Tagalog, but hey, read away!)

ikiran -- compass needle
igkas -- sudden release; elasticity
batahin -- tolerate
patutot -- prostitute
natamasa -- enjoyed
manaka-naka -- sporadic
ginigiyagis -- being emotionally torn
maluoy -- to wither
aguhon -- extra large needle
alabok -- dust
umugit -- to steer
talaangkanan -- genealogy
mapagkandili -- caring
paghahaluyhoy -- groaning
binubo -- developed
guwangan -- to bore a hole
kubli -- hidden
himurin -- to lick
malango -- to be drunk
natupok -- burned down
manliligalig -- outlaw; molester
kaaba-aba -- miserable
manapa -- rather
pagpapagal -- labor

It's quite a list, but I bet there will be more words as I keep reading. Sa uulitin! (Til next time!)

Sem break!

Finals are over! For a few days now. I've only been really lazy lately.. mostly watching shows on YouTube and on TV. Thank heavens to all the nice people who upload full movies on YouTube! I've watched a bunch of Disney movies, Amazing Race episodes, and some Filipino shows. Watching Filipino shows made me miss the Philippines even more!

My sleep schedule is off again. I went to bed at around 5:30 this morning and woke up at 2 pm! hahahaha. School starts again tomorrow (booooo). I hope to be able to wake up early for my 10 am class. It's going to be a crazy semester. I have organic chemistry and molecular biology, which sound like death to me, and modern and Irish dance. I can't give up dance just yet! :p

I've also been trying to get myself to work out but it's soooo hard...

Finals are here

Finals are here! I have spent a good time of studying during the reading days, although I must admit I could have spent less time doing pointless things. Yes, Facebook is one of them. My goal is to take four finals by Saturday. I feel pretty good about three of those first four finals. Philosophy is very confusing, so hopefully I will have wrapped my mind around the stuff by the time I take it (which is on Saturday). The exam really is straightforward once you understand the material. Unfortunately, that's something I have yet to achieve.

I signed up for the molecular biology class for the spring term, so it's within my professor's power to send us an e-mail even before school starts. Finals haven't even started yet, and he already sent out THREE STUDY GUIDES. Not just one, but THREE. Unbelievable. Way to relieve the stress of finals week, Professor... never mind.

I have realized that Hungarian gypsy music could be quite relaxing. And distracting.

Of Length, Philosophy, and World Music

To anyone who actually bothers to read my blog: Thank you and sorry if my posts are too long. I'll try to keep it short next time. Or maybe right now.

I am in the middle of writing a paper for my philosophy class. It's a critical summary of a book about Sigmund Freud and C. S. Lewis. Not the funnest paper, if you ask me. As always, I put off writing this paper until tonight and it's actually due tomorrow. Yay!

I am also listening to "Punjabi Wedding Song" from the Bride and Prejudice soundtrack. One of my favorite Bollywood songs!

My basketball fate

Pretty much every boy that I grew up with was obsessed with basketball. And I mean obsessed. It's soccer in Brazil or football in the US. I wasn't one of them. Basketball never looked like something would enjoy. My dad, however, tried to instill in me a love for basketball. He played with little me, but he said I kept avoiding the ball. Signs showed early, huh? He even took me once to a professional basketball game. I tried to enjoy the live game, but I just could not get myself to do it. I hope my dad didn't notice that, but it's more likely that he probably did.

The first time I took basketball a little more seriously was in high school when it was included in our curriculum for physical education. It was in high school that I actually got the ball in the basket, and I told my dad about it as soon as possible. He was, of course, pleased about it. At the same time, I also started playing basketball with the kids in church who were my age. I even played an actual game against another group a few times. I'm sure my dad was very happy about that. I was pretty proud of myself too. At least I get to say that I have a played a game of basketball.

Come next year, we had an Youth Olympics in church. But it wasn't just the ward (or unit...for non-member readers) that I was in, but the entire stake (a bunch of units) that put this on. It was going pretty well until the second to the last day when I was supposed to play darts for my ward. I was never good at darts, but then again, nobody in my ward really was good at it. We weren't expecting to win, so I volunteered to do it just for fun. When I went to the event, my youth leaders told that they had someone take my spot to play the game. It would have been okay if they had given me a notice before or if they didn't have me expecting to do it in the first place. The guy wasn't even in the ward. I got mad, although I didn't show it. I later found out that they would need guys for basketball. Discouraged, I of course made sure I wouldn't play basketball for them. I took off to a nearby mall to cool off. See ya suckas! I sure hope you lose the game, I thought as I walked away.

I didn't show up the next day of the Youth Olympics, although my dad told me that I should. My dad was out of town on that day, so I got away with it. Although it started with darts, I never played basketball ever again since then. I still enjoyed other sports though, like badminton and volleyball, but I felt like my slight disliking for basketball elevated to an actual dislike.

Eventually, I wasn't really mad about that anymore, but I decided once and for all that basketball isn't for me. I just don't like it. Maybe I'm not supposedly as manly as most guys. But then again, that's more of cultural norm in the Philippines.

My dad tried to get me to like basketball again when we moved to the US. Every morning, my family would wake up to play at the basketball court across the street from our house. We didn't play a game, but he taught me how to shoot a ball in the basket, using proper form and technique. Apathetic and obviously unskilled, it took me maybe three weeks before I could get 30% of my balls in the goal. It was so hard for me to learn, which confirmed further that I wouldn't even come close to genuinely liking basketball. Although I did do it on my own eventually, I still sucked. As winter came in, the days got colder and we couldn't play at the basketball court anymore. My "gained skills" receded, and when I started playing again, it was as if my dad never taught how to shoot the ball properly.

Last night, while playing basketball with my friends, I realized why I didn't like basketball. I don't like that there's too physicality, and too much going around, and too much chaos, at least for me. As I practiced some shots, which turned out to be mostly awful, it was as if I could hear my dad in my head coaching me as I take every shot. I felt that I had to do it for him.

Sorry dad, I could never be the basketball player I know you want me to become. It's not like I didn't try. *shrug*

I wish all Saturdays were like this

Can I just say that I've been having a series of good Saturdays lately?

Last week was General Conference, and I got to go to three sessions in the Conference Center, plus I saw one in the Tabernacle! It was so amazing! I was spiritually fed after the entire Conference! I did sleep a little too much though during the sessions, but it was still great!

And yesterday (which was also a Saturday) was actually a fun day!

I woke up at 10:00 am, said my prayer which put me back to sleep (that happens quite a lot to me...) and actually got out of bed at around 10:23 am. That's actually an accomplishment! To wake up before 11:00 am on a Saturday! I haven't done that for a while. It sure felt good!

I sat around the apartment for a while, while contemplating about going to the gym. It's reallyyyyy hard for me to get myself to go to the gym, so I turned the TV on and laid on the couch (can you say couch potato?) and watched what turned out to be an amazing show. It's a series called "The Universe", and the first episode that I watched was about the important liquids in the universe and the next one was about what could happen if the moon was gone. The one about the moon was so amazing, I never knew that the moon has such a very important role in our survival. To sum it up, the earth would be entirely unrecognizable because it will go through drastic changes once the moon is gone. Pretty cool stuff!

Then I finally went to the gym. Since I didn't really feel like going today, I only stayed for 30 minutes. You can say I did a mini-workout. The reason that I had to go to the gym was because I also went to a buffet today. Does that make sense? I'm really trying to get a toned body for dance, so at least I have to do something when I eat at a buffet. Cuz when I eat at a buffet, let's just say that... uhhh.. I make sure I get more food for the price that I paid for that if I didn't eat at a buffet. FOUR PLATES OF FOOD!

After that, I went to Walmart with my good friend Kyle to do some necessary grocery shopping. It took me a while before I got all that I need. In addition to being a pretty slow shopper (what? I like to look at the scenery..), I put back some of the items that I got (I changed my mind just as I was almost done...I do this pretty much everytime I go to the store by the way) AND some items took FOREVER to find. I didn't even find everything that I wanted. I couldn't find shampoo for some reason and--*sniff*--Nutella.

I also went to play volleyball and basketball with my folk dance friends! It was so much fun! We played about three games of volleyball, and some random people just joined in. I think my team only won one game hahahaha. It was fun nonetheless. Then a few of us decided that we wanted to stay but we opted to play basketball instead. I wasn't all too excited about this but I joined them anyway! I suck at basketball. Every time the ball gets to me, I just pass it as quickly as possible to a teammate. Then one of the guys in or group hurt his ankle so he sat down and we all stopped playing. Some people came up to ask us if we wanted to play a game with them. They looked like they were pretty serious about playing a real game, so I declined. I was left with my friend who hurt his ankle, so instead of just sitting around pretending it would help his situation, I just practiced some shots. You know what's funny? I could hear in my mind my dad telling me how to get the ball in the basket, cuz he taught me how to do that. I think I'll write a post about me and basketball after this.

Overall, it was great day! Very relaxed that I didn't even get any homework done (I almost did, though) hahaha. Well, I practiced my super hard Hungarian stick dance which is a final for my advanced world dance class..that's technically school work. Right?